KCI The Anti_Meth Site

Treatment motivation suggestions?

Northapt	Treatment motivation suggestions? Hello to all my friends. If you've been following my posts, you know I've been praying my daughter would go back to treatment. Well today she went. Thank God for a step in the right direction. Now I would like some feedback from the group and keep in mind I'm a counselor myself. All they could talk her into is a 30-day inpatient. I was arguing with the assessment folks because I know 30 day programs do little with meth but maybe get the person dried out enough so they can think again and begin treatment. It's not much in the way of treatment in itself. Their strategy is to dry her out and then push for more treatment when she can think and feel once again. I read on here, stories of people so beat up by the drug they drag themselves to treatment bleeding (so to speak) You have real motivation then. My daughter does not have this (yet) I wondered what you all thought of this. Do you HAVE to hit a bloody bottom of death and destruction or can motivation come in treatment? Her only motivation now is try to get her child back from child protective service, not knowing they will want MUCH more from her before she ever sees her daughter. Her thinking is pretty skewed from dope. Also this program uses William Glasser's "Choice theory." Being a 12-step kinda guy, I'm not a big fan of this. Anyone have any positive to say about Choice theory?
Replies...
luve piphany	Re: Treatment motivation suggestions? Hi, miracles come in all shapes and sizes (and time frames).....I hope. Have faith and try HARD not to lean on your own understanding. I don't know anything bout the Choice Theory. Haven't watched anyone I love go into treatment at all, have given up almost all of my control over the addict....and just know that letting go gives me the most peace. Heck! I thought the serious life threatening infection in the addict I love was a sure gift from God...thought 5 days in the hospital over Christmas was the BIG Miracle...believed the dr's would bring in psych and send the suicidal guy down the right path....thought he would see his life saved as God's grace...nope. Not yet. But ya just never know....back to acceptance and trying not to lean on my own understanding. Your daughter sure is blessed that you are a big 12 step guy! Your day will come to be leaned upon.
Broken N2	Re: Treatment motivation suggestions? All I can say is this...I have learned more in the past 22 days of outpatient treatment than I ever dreamed possible. Some of the things were things I had heard 1000 times before...but suddenly they became REAL. I can't speak for anyone but myself.. I want recovery more than anything else in the world. I pray your daughter does as well....or that she learns to while in treatment. For me it was like a light went off inside my head & I finally got it!! I finally could HEAR what people were telling me. It can and does happen.. just keep the faith...after all its all you can do.
Tender hearts KS	Re: Treatment motivation suggestions? I'm not familiar with Glasser's 'choice theory'. For me, treatment was a Godsend. A LOT of it involved being transported to outside meetings, both AA and NA. We had to complete the first 5 steps before being discharged. We never know when the seed will be planted. I've seen many folks who were 'court ordered' to treatment and meetings, only to go back out there some more after all the court stuff was over with. I've seen some of those come back later to 12 step groups because even though their desire was not 'sincere' at the time, something stuck and they came back. I've seen people enter treatment where I was sure they had hit a bottom, only to go back out again. Someone once pointed out to me that the only requirement for AA membership was a 'desire' to stop drinking, and that didn't specify it had to be a sincere desire. Don't anticipate the results, live in the moment, and I will keep your daughter in my prayers
Northapt	Re: Treatment motivation suggestions? "not that it had to be a sincere desire." Good point and well taken....
kmb 2006	Re: Treatment motivation suggestions? Here's some more info: www.choicetheory.com/ct.htm My husband is an addict (recovering). My therapist had me read Choice Theory. It was pretty dry, and quite academic - and at that point, my attention span was too short to absorb much. But, the basic premise was that we can choose how to act and think. Our feelings are a direct result of our thoughts and actions, so we can indirectly control our feelings (both emotional and physiological). We are *internally* motivated to think and act certain ways to fill common basic needs. External motivation does little to compel us to seek the things we need - external factors only play a small part. It's all about personal accountability. Our choices are our own. Because we can choose how we think and act we can choose how we feel. To me, it was a pretty empowering message - even though at the time, I couldn't find the strength to change my thoughts. I'll tell you - Dr. Glasser thinks that most mental illness is a matter of choice. "... people get symptoms or create them--what the world calls mental illness--because they are in pain and unhappy. The pain is caused by external controls distorting relationships, by the failures of relating and by choices the sufferers make. Recovery is about making better choices now, not about finding out the past, about feelings or about mental disease or mental chemistry. Drugs are totally not indicated, for Glasser. He sees psychiatry and psychology as sold out to pharmacology and based entirely on a false model of the brain and its relation to "the symptoms." I think I'm ready to go back and re-read the book. Oh - while I looking for more info, I found this. Not Glasser related, but interesting nonetheless.
Northapt	Re: Treatment motivation suggestions? Great info on Choice theory. I guess my biggest problem with it is that Glasser completly discounts the unconscious. He feels there is no such thing as transference or countertransferance between therapist and client (which I know can exist.) Also, SFJ posted some great power points on meth ( another post) that point out the paranoia doesn't subside for about 15 days. So I guess I question the 30-day program my daughter is in. They only have about 15 days to teach her anything she might trust.
BentBut Not Broken1	Re: Treatment motivation suggestions? I can only imagine your fatherly fears...then add on top your "professional" fears. Well.......fear: F = False E = Evidence A = Appears R = Real Should your daughter see fear or doubt in your eyes, that may eradicate any seed from being planted...that is not meant to hurt you . Remember, as a recovering addict I know I have deep emotional issues to heal. That Mom read Sfj's website and gave me encouragement and understanding-MAJOR motivator! Me letting my Mom down and breaking her heart has been almost harder than withdrawal & a few cravings. Also , consider how many folks run across KCI daily and find that one "spark" or "seed" and seek recovery. I bet it would be a quite large number. What I read scared me to quit-cold turkey-end of story. Had I been sent or forced into rehab-nothing or not much good would have stuck-especially with what I read of the approach they are using with your daughter. If you have contact/visitation with her-love her like I know you already do even through your tears and pain. Pray . God has been known to have a super sense of humor and has used many a thing, person, place for recovery seeds to take root. Yeah-if it were me in there, I'd bust out. I don't like that type of therapy. Too much psychobabble for me-no offense-and no cognitive b. t.-yuck. If you knew how many dollars I've wasted on therapy....crap I should be so healthy and whole-but I'm not. I was admittedly thick-headed-but those 12 Steps-recovery work that is so WORTH doing with ALL of me. I finally got: I am worth it. I hope I haven't offended you-it's certainly not my intent . Faith, hope, love-all 3. They do work. Please keep us posted on how she's doing and how you are doing? Meanwhile-I'm praying for you both. Miracles happen every day and in some strange ways! Hugs, Love and Prayers to you and yours
Northapt	Re: Treatment motivation suggestions? Bent.. Thanks for your kind words and no...you could never offend me. I'm thinking of this just as a detox and hope she can be motivated to a good long term program. We have one place here in Spokane that is a 6-month post-partum program meaning her daughter can be there with her. Parenting classes. the whole deal. The hard part for me. and I'm conscious of it. is fear. Fear of disappointment again, betrayal, heart ache. fear I may have to bury her if she won't get well. I try my best to be supportive but leave counseling to her counselor, The whole dad piece is in the way between us. She admitted to me that weight (baby weight) was the trigger for this relapse. She has an unreal body image and feels she still "could lose 5 lbs" even thought she's emaciated. Also I have to be careful not to "knock" her drug using mother. I say. and have always said...you become LIKE who you hang around with. If you want recovery-be around recovery. It's possible to love someone but be healthy enough to erect a boundary to protect yourself from the drama and lies and stealing, etc. All the craziness of the disease.
Tender hearts KS	Re: Treatment motivation suggestions? *Quote:* Fear of disappointment again, betrayal, heart ache. fear I may have to bury her if she won't get well. I can so understand all of those fears. I am a hard learner, and for me, I don't change until the pain of doing what I am doing begins to really undermine my own recovery. Today, for me, fear is absence of faith. I look at everything I had to go through, including ending up days away from death (6' tall, 109 pounds, pregnant, and too weak to even hold my head up) and realize God had a plan for me that NO ONE could see, least especially me. I won't question God's plan for my oldest daughter anymore. I can sleep at night. When the emotions well up, I talk to my sponsor, go to a meeting, do whatever it takes to walk through the emotions. When I project into the future, I am not taking advantage of today. I am not leaving the results to God, I am not leaving my fears and anxieties in God's hands. God carried me through the most horrible periods in my life, I have no doubt. He never left me. He is also with your daughter. Give your fears and worries to God. ((((hugs))))